Numb

Waking up feels okay.
The first few seconds,
You've forgotten.
Then it all comes crashing back,
And so the fight begins.
To hold it all back,
Away from prying eyes.
Forcing your mind to think,
Of other things.
Anything but what has happened.
But you can't,
It stabs you like a rusty dagger,
Twisting your insides.
Until tears stream down your face.
You loose it for a minute or so.
Then compose...
Only to be stuck with that lump,
In the back of your throat.
You swallow and swallow,
But it won't move.
Just like the expression upon your face.
Frozen
From that moment when he said.
"we should end it"
Numbness fills your body,
Head a mess with denial,
sadness, guilt.
It was all your fault...